today, may 29, 2012, my dog Zoe was put to sleep, because she had been fighting liver and spleen cancer. this may seem stupid to some, but my dogs mean more to me than most humans. I’ve been so upset about her for months and just can’t control it anymore. it pains me, one because she was the best dog and always was there to put a smile on everyone’s face, and two, because she was basically my childhood. in almost every memory I have, she’s in them. my childhood died today and i feel like its just all over. when you realize something is officially gone, it’s the worst feeling in the world. I’ll never get to snuggle on the couch with her, or get attacked by her kisses. this sounds so dumb, because she’s a dog, but she really meant the world to me. I really hope she meets up with tara again in doggy heaven, and watches over the whole family. I hope she left happy with me and my family, and I hope she felt loved. this morning I rushed to say my final goodbye to her. but she was gone. my dad took her to the beach, to run on the sand one more time. I’m glad she got to be where she loved before she got put to sleep. I put a rock at the dog park for her, and swung at the playground next door, picturing her running around like she used to. I want her to come back more than anything in the whole world. I’m glad she’s not suffering anymore, and hope she never has to again. I’ll miss her for the rest of my life, and she can never be replaced. rest easy girl, on a big bed where you can eat anything your heart desires. I love you

I just realized I only go on tumblr when I need to rant or am sad… tumblr is my anti-depressant.

I’m going to try to be happier and more appreciative of people and things. although I might say hate a few times a day, I don’t mean it. I’m really privileged to have everything in life that I need and more. I have annoying but loving parents who would do anything for me, a home, food, and a bed to sleep in every night. I also have an amazing boyfriend who loves me unconditionally. I have my pets and get to fulfill my passion every week. I really cant ask for anything more, because that would just be greedy. the only thing I hope for is that to others who are suffering, I hope things get better and that you are living a full life as well.